No Cost Motivation – Make sure you do it correctly

I just read this article The No-Cost Way to Motivate – BusinessWeek by Patrick Lencioni.

The article basically suggests that managers need to be more aware of the lives of the people the manage. I think it doesn’t go far enough. HappyPuzzle

I believe managers should have conversations with people they manage. Then need to listen and find out what need, what they want, and what their hopes and dreams are. Not only should we listen, but we should try and find ways for to meet those needs and wants. Of course they need to be appropriate, timely and prudent.

While I hope managers will do these things I know few will take this advice. But I can hope.

I have had hundreds of people who work for me. Many of those people, given the chance, would come to work with me if I called them up today. Because they know I listen and respect them.

How texting Saved my Marriage

Several years ago I was at a pretty low point in my marriage. Although divorce was not an option I had resigned myself to a life of misery and loneliness. I really felt abandoned.

So, what’s a white and nerdy guy to do when he can’t get any attention or affection. He turns to Google and asks “how Can I get my wife to change.” Some how I found the web site of Dr Ellen Keidman Light your Fire She has a bunch of CD’s that tell you how to fix your marriage. Texting

I started to listening to the CDs. One of the first things I learned was I can only change myself. I realized I was the one with the problem.  I also realized I really didn’t know what my wifes needs were. Dr. Ellen taught me what women need. While I am not very good at it. I am trying. The efforts I have made are making a big difference.

At this point you may be saying. I haven’t heard anything about texting? Hold on!

One of the thing Ellen suggested was tell your wife you love her, often! She also suggest writing notes. I am always juggling a dozen things at a time.  I often forget to tell her I love her. I think about my wife often, but she didn’t know that. So I thought It would be cool If I could sent here a message and she would know I thinking about her. At first I tried to send her e-mail while I was at work. But she gets a lot e-mail from friends, plus she only checks it once a week. My messages would get lost. I had been on Facebook for a while and I got her to sign up. She wasn’t getting a ton of messages so that was a good place to send messages.  While it was good it was not instantaneous.

She was enjoying the messages, but we still weren’t really connecting. Then I thought about texting. She would know the instant I sent here a message I was thinking about her. Texting is also cool because it’s short, for a guy like me with a short attention span that helps.

Once we started texting, and since then things have really heated up. Many times I feel like I did when we were dating. It’s tons of fun and I am amazed that a small and simple thing like this can have a big effect.  I look forward to seeing my wife every night when I get home. And I miss her when I am at work. She misses me too.  I really do love her.

While Dr Ellen got me on the right path. It was texting that became the avenue to take our relationship to the next level. Our relationship is fun now, after 16 years things are really looking up.